Pressure

Hmm. Yes, right now let's talk about pressure and family life. How would you feel if a member of your family had problems with several other members of your family? Doesn't effect you? Make you uncomfortable at all? No? Hmm. Interesting. Because I am of the mind that I love my family very much. I love my friends very much. And if they could see each other through my eyes and all hang together, they would see the value of each other. So how much greater and more productive would it be if everyone did this-- through God's eyes? Mine are, I will admit, still no perfect. My eyesight is still out of focus. I guess I need some God glasses. ;) But I do wish that I could follow what I know and that I knew which path to follow. What I know-- that I can't do it by myself and that I cannot make people see through my eyes, let alone through God's. The contradiction or perhaps my part in question-- How can I make them see each other? Can't they see how much it truly and deeply hurts me and effects me? That's right! It effects me that they can't even pretend around me. What's everybody's rush to get into what they think is the real world? And is it the real world or just the harsh reality that they accepted despite the promises of God that say otherwise. I wish I could say this. I wish I had a voice and not a headache. A-eee.

Ein Lied

und wenn ein lied meine lippen verlässt,
dann nur damit du liebe empfängst.
durch die nacht und das dichteste geäst
damit du keine ängste mehr kennst
sag ein kleines stückchen wahrheit
sieh wie die wüste lebt
schaff ein kleines bisschen klarheit
und schau wie sich der schleier hebt
eine wüste aus beton und asphalt
doch sie lebt und öffnet einen spalt
der dir neues zeigt
zeigt das altes weicht
auch wenn dein schmerz bis an
den himmel reicht
ref.:
und wenn ein lied, meine lippen verlässt,
dann nur damit du liebe empfängst
durch die nacht und das dichteste geäst
damit du keine ängste mehr kennst
dieses lied ist nur für dich
schön, wenn es dir gefällt
denn es kam so über mich
wie die nacht über die welt
schlanke faust der dunkelheit
bin ich zum ersten schlag bereit
ich bin der erste der dich befreit
und einer der letzten der um dich weint
und wenn ein lied (2x)
in unserer sanduhr fällt das letzte korn
ich hab gewonnen und hab ebenso verlorn
jedoch missen möcht ich nichts
alles bleibt unser gedanklicher besitz
und eine bleibende erinnerung
zwischen tag und nacht legt sich die dämmerung
und wenn ein lied
(2x)
damit du keine ängste mehr kennst
damit du keine ängste mehr kennst

More Quotations

Let's see how many quotations I get in here before it's time to go. ... not many I'm guessing. I'll write something more profound later. Do I have any readers???

Movie Star

Have you ever looked at yourself or your life and watched as if seeing a movie? I thought of that today while I was moving from job to job and interacting with my co-workers. I was listening to a song which just set the mood and I could see my opening scene. This song played and I moved around my jobs. I would be typing, copying, filing, inserting, but most of the clips were in between. There was a clip of me passing the insert table and exchanging "Hola"s and "Buenas Dias"s. There was a clip of my small exchanges, my smiles-- and no one ever sees me frown. I'm not sad in this movie. I move freely to the background music. My life on the big screen-- why do I feel like nobody is watching? This sounded much more poetic and illustrative in my head as I repeated it during the day. Can you see it? Anyway, it's a good movie I think. Hopefully there's a happy ending.

How Bout Some Pics to Lighten the Mood...

Take a seat, drink some rose-flavored drink-- or just drink some water and let me flavor it with a little bit of me. Take a peak, stay a while, and get to know my people ;)


This is a crazy night that I will remember forever-- one of my many Heather moments. I will miss her forever


Meet Shaniqua, Elijah and Kokoa. I'm sure I spelled their names wrong, but they're my kids... some of them. The following few are more of them :) Kool Kids

My ever-so-lovely roommate, Asha


The Internationals: Sarah, Julian, Mabouc, Me, Christian, Josh, Fermin, Luis, Hector, Hanae, Simone, Juan and Jaime


Some incredibly insane girls that I met this one time.... (I love you Jana and Danielle!!! ;) )

WHAT TO DO???

Below is a response to the titled article. The response is written by me, but also check out the article. There are many good criticisms but also some false ideas that I believe must be addressed in daily interaction and opportunities.

Article 25: Why do they hate us
By Peter Ford
I’d have to say that this article was both surprising and predictable and at times contradictory. I have more thoughts than I know what to deal with when I view the opinions opposing the United States. It’s easy, knowing the injustices that occur abroad to see the lack of action taken by the US and be frustrated, but in reading this article, I actually began to understand more America’s hesitancy towards action. In an attempt to perhaps cream the US foreign policy, I actually began to understand it.
The article was, in summary, a list of reasons why Muslims tend to be anti-American. The interesting things was that the focus was indeed Muslims and not just anti-Americans. The attempts to justify Muslim actions, just hurt my opinion of the Islamic efforts. Some said spread culture not war, when others seemed to say spread war not culture. The overwhelming idea, however, seemed to be—screw that country over, but please don’t do the same to us. When they said "Give us the same that you give to Israel," I began to see scores being tallied—the game of siblings against their parents.
It seems like the Muslim community has taken America to be the parent who is supposed to fairly settle their scores. I can see the opinions forming now in the minds of individuals who cannot see or know the aspects of governments and the key here is that we are friends with those who would befriend us. Will hostile acts of violence bring America running to your aid? Will militant history stand behind your talks of peace? Wherever can be found the double standard of America, can also be found the double standard of another Islamic country.
Should America be supprting Israel’s destruction of innocent lives? Of course not. The war between governments being acted out through the loss of civilian lives is an atrocious concept that the entire world seems to have adopted. In the same right, should America not be supporting every starving family in the Global South, find a cure for aids, stop world poverty and opression and hey, while we’re at it, send men to live on the sun? Is it America’s job to play the parent, to be fair, to help everyone on both sides of conflict. Would not equal aid to both sides be an equal double standard?
And then come the complaints about the spread of democracy. First the quote, "In few of the world’s 50 or so Muslim countries have governments offered their citizens either prosperity or democracy." They are, first, hostile towards democracy, but later in the article complain that the US has done little to spread equality or democracy. However now, living in a time where democracy in being instilled, it is being heavily fought against. Is there any consistency?
In addition to all of this is the idea of a religious war. The Muslims seem to forget that there are Muslim Americans as well. While I will not doubt that Americans themselves may forget, our government, I don’t believe, has. The issue has come when the Islamic governments have raised the flag of religious interactions and when these governments join together, as has been historic in action, against the said cause. If their cause is religious, then their religion has in it somewhere a flaw—a contradiction that endangers their own people as they stand in the name of Islam to kill the Muslim Americans who fight as well.
Some issues, however, I can see a point. This article was not entirely full of things for me to attempt to defend nor is that mine or the author’s true goal. The history of US militancy depends on who your asking for what cause. If you ask the one who is a "believer in peace—" an anti-war protestor or neighboring country to Iraq, they will say that the US is an overbearing military force that comes and changes everything to fit Western culture. However, if you ask that same believer in peace who is also protesting the cruelty in Darfur, they will tell you that the US is an inactive force that does not do anything to help when it sees conflict.
I can see the criticisms, the frustrations, the issues of dealing with ideas of betrayal and inconsistency. But I would ask that those countries look at the US for what it is and who it stands for. Is the US the UN? Should it be? Tell me honestly, what would you expect from a foreign government to do? It would be interesting to have the Muslims interviewed stand in my experiences and deal with my issues. I would like to see those who are complaining attempt to make peace out of continuous contradiction. Tell us clearly what you want and perhaps it may be achieved. But the moods that I received from reading this article was that of hopelessness and humility. Not because of what they said, but what was behind it—the God-like abilities and interventions that they seem to beg of a single foreign state, while its own people are crying for their own attentions.
I suppose in this I would remain behind my research paper in saying that the abilities and jobs of the government are limited more and more. Hands are tied by responsibilities to a variety of people. However as individuals within this free society, and as the Church of Christ, we are able. We have the ability to go where the "Americans" cannot. Where our government’s hands are tied, our arms are free to embrace. Perhaps the change in perspective cannot be relying entirely on a government serving its own, but on people who truly desire to see the change.

Every Night

Well, while my stubbornness refuses to desert my other xanga blogs, I would like to give this a try. It seems somewhat interesting and the title is very appropriate seeing that most of these entries will be random thoughts at the end of the day-- little somethings, everything appreciated (or perhaps sometimes not). The little undiscovered, night-time hide-away, nook'n'cranny place that perhaps no one or everyone can read, but when I feel poetic or just plain out of my mind-- it's my night spot. My one last thing, my whatever goodnight. Boa Noite, Gute Nacht, Buenas Noches, Laila Saieda-- add to them what you will. Until our dreams meet once again. Goodnight.

The Search for Sleep

In a search for the ideal quote-- that which is the essence of purpose in this blog and a final respite of peaceful rest, I stumbled upon some close calls-- those words of wisdom that have captured other pieces of my heart, but did not manage to capture the whole of this page. However, I do deem it thus necessary to give credit where credit is due and it would be a shame to ingest such forcible and emotional words and not share them with the dearest. And thus is my humble introduction for those words which need none....

There are moments when, no matter the posture of the body, the soul is on its knees.
---"Les Miserables"

"Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep."
-Fran Lebowitz

Can I see another's woe, and not be in sorrow too?
Can I see another's grief, and not seek for kind relief?
William Blake

He who binds to himself a joy
Does the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in eternity's sun rise.
William Blake

If the Sun and Moon should ever doubt, they'd immediately go out.
William Blake

To see the world in a grain of sand,
and to see heaven in a wild flower,
hold infinity in the palm of your hands,
and eternity in an hour.
William Blake

To generalize is to be an idiot.
William Blake

The man who never in his mind and thoughts travel'd to heaven is no artist.
William Blake

Okay, so in my search I rediscovered and loved William Blake. You'll pardon me, but his words are poetry and beauty in themselves.... In his own words, "Exuberance is beauty." And so let me and us all be therefore exuberant and beautiful :D

Testing Pictures

Let's just test this and see how everything works.

Check me out. What do you think? Does this blog setting work?